


Visiting Hours

by Zaynlove



Category: 1D - Fandom, Directioner, One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Attempted Murder, Baby Zayn, Cancer, Character Death, Death, Depressing, Depression, Drugs, Fetus Zayn, Hospitals, Illnesses, Jail, Love, Moral Lessons, Murder, Parent Death, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Harry, Sad Zayn, Sick Zayn, Suspense, Teaching, Terminal Illnesses, Unrequited Love, deth - Freeform, harry - Freeform, lukemia, visiting hours, zarry - Freeform, zayn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-01-16 22:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1363453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaynlove/pseuds/Zaynlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=359clk1"></a>
  <img/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Harry is a 23 year old who gets into a shit load of trouble.</p>
<p>He used to be a great guy; he had promise and ambition. He was accepted in to Harvard business school, he had a beautiful and intelligent girlfriend, and a bright future.<br/>Two years ago, his parents died within a week if each other and his girlfriend died in a car crash 2 months later. He spiraled into a deep depression. His grades dropped and he lost his Harvard scholarship. trying to pay for tuition, he went broke. He dropped out of school. He became addicted to any and every substance that was illegal. was a mess.</p>
<p>As he stood on trial for attempted murder, his body shook, his palms grew sweaty, and his right eye twitched, but not from nervousness...He needed a fix to control his urges.<br/>The judge decided to make a deal with the broken young Styles boy.<br/>Mr.styles was given community service. He was too spend 700 hours at the local Hospital...in the children's ward...</p>
<p>Can Harry fix his tattered life?</p>
<p>What will happen during...Visiting hours</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

"Shit," Harry whispered to himself slightly out of breath. He picked up his pace until he was in a full out Sprint, his old, dirty converse slipping and scraping against the black asphalt. Sirens blasted in the distance slowly getting closer and closer by the second. Red and blue lights cast colored reflections onto the tired boy's pale, sickly face. Sweat dripped down the bridge of his nose and slid into his mouth, making him scrunch up his nose, not liking the taste of the salty liquid. He could hear the sirens getting closer and the shouts from the officers getting more and more desperate, but he couldn't stop. He could never stop, not until he was free. The, once bouncy, curls stuck to every inch of his head, the back of his neck, behind his ears, against his forehead, everywhere.

As he ran his head grew dizzy. How long have I been running? He thought to himself in a struggled daze. Voices popped into his head

 

Stop!

 

Don't stop!

 

They should catch you!

 

Keep running!

 

Just let them shoot you!

 

Never give up!

 

Give up!

 

Don't!

 

Stop!

 

Go!

 

Stop!

 

Go!

 

STOP!

 

His head won...He felt his eyes move to the back of his head as he lost his footing; his sneakers squeaking against the ground. Harry's mind went blank and his face hit the pavement. He laid there, eyes open, blood dripping from the side of his sliced up face. The last thing he felt was the cold metal hand cuffs being harshly shoved around his frail wrists and the flashing of cameras from curious passersby.

 

\---

 

"Where am I?" asked a drowsy and confused Harry styles. A large yawn slipped from his lips causing him to cry out in pain. A small drop if blood trickled down his cheek, like it was trying to escape his face. He reached up to touch it making a stinging sensation shoots through his face. His looked around for a reflective surface. What he found was the heart monitor beeping next him. He scrunched his face in confusion, earning another groan of pain to leak from his mouth. He looked at the giant gash that had reopened on his face.

"What?" He said lowly. He didn't remember a thing, he couldn't remember a thing. The last thing that comes to mind is him out in the street outside his apartment after being evicted, then nothing. He tried to wipe his eyes with both hands but was stopped by a metal ring connecting his left hand to the bed frame. Why am I in handcuffs? he thought to himself. He looked around the room to see any kind of recognition. He does a police officer sleeping in the corner, great, he tonight.

"Excuse me," he said quietly, no movement.

"Hello?" He said slightly louder, nothing. He sighed in frustration.

"HEY!" He urged as loud as possible. The officer's eyes shot open. He looked over at Harry with disgust.

"Look who's awake," he said with so much disdain, it could kill a man. Harry looked at him with confusion, what was his problem he thought.

"Um could you tell me what's going on?" Harry asked politely.

"Well, you little piece of shit, you're in a hospital," the man said in a childish, mocking tone. Harry didn't think that the man's answer was worthy of a response so he used his eyes to signal the man to continue. The officer huffed in annoyance.

"Well, you're being arrested." The officer topped it all off with a smirk.

"W-what, arrested?" Harry's thoughts went all over the place. Did they find my drug stash; did I beat someone up, what is happening?

"F-for what?" he asked hesitantly.

"Drug possession, resisting arrest, oh and attempted murder..." Harry's eyes shot out of his head like a deer in head lights. His skin grew paler and his palms sweaty. He would never try to kill anyone, drugs yes, but killing? No way.  
The officer started laughing at Harry's scared reaction as he called in a nurse to Stitch him back up.

The needle went in his cheek yet all Harry could do was stare at the white wall ahead of him. What did I do?

He needed to get it of here. He started thrashing around in his bed yelling and screaming.

"Let me go! I did nothing wrong!" He cried, tears rushing down his face.  
Several officers rushed into the room to restrain the crazy boy. They held down his arms and legs as the nurse stabbed Harry's arm with a fast acting sedative. His movements because slower as he cried a little less.

"Please...Let me go..." it came out as barely above a whisper when everything went black again.

 

\---

 

Harry woke up to the sound of someone pacing besides his bed. His eyes strained to open but when they adjusted, he saw a young man, close to his own age, pacing and sweating, chewing his nails. He looked extremely nervous.

“Um… excuse me, are you ok?” Harry asked quietly, startling the anxious man. The man stopped walking and looked down at a confused Harry.

“Thank God you’re awake. I am Thomas Patrick and I am your attorney and hopefully your parole officer.” He said awkwardly smiling.

“Why would I want a parole officer?” Harry asked.

“Well, I’m hoping to get you community service instead of jail time. Just listen to everything I tell you and I think we can win this thing…” Tom said patting Harry on the shoulder. A soft sigh left Harry’s lips, he closed his eyes to let everything soak in. What have I done?

“So Mr.Styles, are you ready to get started?” Tom asked, Harry just shrugged and went with it, he just didn’t care what happened to him anymore.

 

Harry sat in his nicest suit; well a suit borrowed form Tom, who has now become a very close friend. The trial has been going on for hours now and he just wants to go home and shoot up, or snort some, or even get a lousy puff, anything to cool his nerves and to supply his need. All eyes were on Tom as he handed the judge Harry’s file. It was filled with every part of Harry’s pathetic life. It contained his Parents death certificates, his fiancé’s car crash information, his drug charges, his eviction notices, his acceptance letter from Harvard…everything. The judge sat there and read everything, every sentence and every detail. He felt bad for the young man on trial in front of him. He sighed.

 

“Will the defendant and his lawyer approach the bench,” he stated. Harry and Tom anxiously walked up to the judge.

“Mr. Styles I have read your file and I am…I just… I would like to offer you a plea. In replace of the jail time you would have served I am willing to offer you community service hours, what do you think?” Harry just continued to stare at his shoes.

“He would love that, what will he have to do?” Tom piped up for Harry.

“He will give 700 hours of his time to the Mercy hospital…in the children’s ward…” Judge said. Harry looked up in horror. He hated children with a passion.

 

 

What is going to happen?


	2. Day 1, Hour 1

Harry held his head low as he walked with Tom through the cold, Grimm hospital. He trudged along with long strides, his hands never leaving his pockets.

 

It was his first day of his torture, as he liked to call it. His body shivered when the cold, stale air wrapped around him and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He knew he wasn't going to like this but he continued to walk down the dreadfully long hallway. He could hear Tim talking but couldn't understand the words; his mind was somewhere else he had never been one to like children and now he has to spend 700 hours of his life with a bunch of sick ones? He dreaded the idea of it all. He didn't want to see their sad, sickly faces looking at him, hoping for a cure that he couldn't provide. Harry felt a hard slap in the side if his face.

 

"Harry!" Tom yelled making the distraught boy lose his train if thought. He looked up at his parole officer and friend with pleading eyes. He would give anything not to do this right now, or ever. Tom signed and placed a firm, comforting hand on the boys shoulder.

 

"Harry I know you don't want to but you have to, just think about what it would have been like in jail; all of those men who have actually killed people."  
Harry sighed knowing that Tom was right again. His shaky hand reached out for the cold door knob. He twisted the fur and opened it to food a sight he didn't redirect to see...

 

Happiness...

 

The children weren't sad or sickly, they were playing with toys and coloring pretty, and not so pretty, pictures. A small smile pulled at Harry's lips but he suppressed it, not wanting Tom to think he won. He took a small step inside, step by step he got closer to the children; some started and some were completely oblivious. He stopped at a little boy that was playing by himself with a red power ranger action figure. He looked down at the adorable boy. He had so much innocence. He art there a created a new world around him consisting of robots and crime fighters and damsels in distress. Harry smiled for the first time in a long time.

 

The small boy could feel a pair of eyes on the back of his neck and slowly turned around making eye contact with the curly haired lad. He smiled up at him.

 

"Hi I'm Zayn, wanna be the black one?" He asked, giving the mighty black power ranger in Harry's face. He just chucked and grabbed the toy.  
Zayn showed him how to play. They were to rescue to ducky before it drowned in the bowl of cheerios, our as Zayn liked to call it, "save Mr. Duck from the bad cereal people!" Harry played along willingly feeling oddly attached to the small raven haired boy. He looked down at the toddler with adoration.

 

"Hey Z?" Harry asked. Zayn didn't look away from his 'mission' just replied with a grumble.

 

"How old are you?"  
He looked down at his hands and tried to figure out how old he was on his fingers. His little pink tongue poked out the side of his mouth as he concentrated. He finally held up a hand with all five fingers up.

 

"5?" Harry asked, Zayn smiled triumphantly and nodded his head, going back to playing.  
Tom looked at the two from afar and smiled, he knew this would be a good thing for Harry. He turned and walked ought if the room, he would be back in a few hours to pick Harry up, but for now, Harry was all good being the black power ranger.

 

Zayn’s loud giggles filled the entire children’s ward as Harry tickled the little boy senseless.

 

“Ahaha noooo…” Zayn yelled through the laughter as Harry picked him up and placed Zayn on his shoulder. He ran around and made airplane noises. Zayn continued laughing his head off.

 

“I fly!” Zayn yelled, using the ever so great 5 year old grammar.

 

“Hawwy, I fly!” He screamed giggling into Harry’s curls tickling his little nose. Harry chuckled at the amazement on Zayn’s face. He carried the small boy through the air and made him soar.  
After a while a young nurse came in the room with two trolleys filled with food. Harry carried Zayn to his hospital bed.

 

“Lunch time!” The small girl said. Zayn bounced up and down excitedly. Harry chuckled to himself. The woman passed lunch bag after lunch bag to each child, each one having their names on them. When The woman reached Harry, he was surprised to to see that he too had a lunch bag with his name embroidered on it.

 

“I heard you would be joining us for a while so I got one made for you,” she said sweetly. She handed Zayn his and he quickly got into a crisscross apple sauce position and opened his sack. His eyes lit up as he pulled a bowl of cubed grilled chicken out of the bag. He wiped his hand with hand sanitizer and pulled off the lid. Harry was confused as to why Zayn was so excited about some ordinary chicken.

 

“Do you like chicken Z?” harry asked curiously. Zayn smiled up at him.

 

“Yes! I get special chicken because I’m special!”  
(If you have been in this fandom for a while you will know what that is from)

 

Harry chuckled shaking his head and opening his lunch. He sat with Zayn on his bed as they ate; Harry having spaghetti pasta with fruit and bread, Zayn enjoying his grilled chicken cubes and macaroni which caused him to get cheese sauce all over his mouth. Harry smiled as he wiped Zayn’s face with a napkin.

 

Harry was in the middle of reading Zayn Clifford The Big Red Dog when Tom came in tapping on his shoulder.

 

“Hey Haz, it’s time to go for the day,” Tom said looking at the two boys snuggled up in bed together. Harry groaned and pouted not wanting to leave the little boy he had gotten so close to.

 

“C’mon Harold you will be back tomorrow,” he said trying to pull Harry out of the bed. Zayn grabbed onto his shirt before he could walk away. He ferociously shook his head.

 

“No, you no go away!” He said huffing and puffing and crossing his little arms. Harry sighed and grabbed Zayn’s little hand inside of his.

 

“I will be back tomorrow, I promise, Z.” He said giving Zayn a huge hug. He started walking away, when he turned back he noticed a single tear slip from Zayn’s eye as the small boy plopped down on his bet and covered his head with his blanket. Harry sighed one more as he left the room with Tom; he couldn’t wait to get back here tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes  
> I hope you like the first chapter of Visiting Hours!!!!! I tried to kill as many people with cute fetus Zayn, did it work? cause it definitely did for me.
> 
> The first person to tell me what that quote is from gets a shout out!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> So what do you think? Please leave comments below with feedback and just random things. I really hope everyone likes this story so far and want me to continue.
> 
> Bye for now  
> ~~Lauryn~~
> 
> COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT


	3. Day 2, Hour 6

Harry walked hurriedly through the stark, white hallways. It was day 2, hour 6 and he just needed to see Zayn. The face he had last night when he left broke Harry’s heart. He didn’t think he would get attached to any of the kids, but somehow Zayn has snuck his way into his heart. Harry’s steps got quicker and quicker and they spread further when he saw the dim light coming for the small window connecting the children’s ward to this very narrow hallway. Tom was way at the beginning of the hallway not caring how quickly he got down there, he just smiled at how eager his younger friend was. He silently laughed to himself.

 

Harry reached the door and grasped the handle in his, now, sweaty hand. He twisted it, earning a not so pleasant squeak to occur as he stepped into the room. He looked over to where him Zayn were playing yesterday and didn’t see the raven haired boy; his face grew in confusion. He looked over to Zayn’s bed and saw nothing but rumpled sheets and his own black power ranger sticking out from underneath the pillow. As he was in a Hospital, Harry began to think the worst. Did Zayn…you know... die? He ran around the room looking for him in every possible corner and hiding spot but still found nothing. All the other kids were completely unfazed by Harry’s actions, they just continued to color and build with their blocks. Harry stood still in the middle of the room scared to death. Did he already loose the boy he had become so close to? The only person that has been able to make him really smile? Tears started falling down his face as he thought about all the possibilities. His emotions took him over and he was a sobbing mess. He covered his face with his large hands and cried into them. His breath quickened and became uneven, and sweat started to grown his brow. Some children stared at the tall man acting like a baby and other continued to be unfazed.

 

Out of the blue Harry felt two small arms wrap around his legs. He gasped and immediately turned around. A boy with a hat covering his head was standing below him, crying as well, and hugging his legs. Harry knelt down, to see who it was, and it was none other than Zayn. He dropped down on his knees and scooped the small boy into his arms. Zayn cried onto Harry’s shoulder and Harry cried on Zayn’s. They sat there, Zayn in Harry’s lap, until the crying faded into muffled whimpers. Harry pulled away from the younger boy and stood up. He grabbed Zayn once more and carried him to his bed and sat him down, sitting down right next tom him as well. Harry wiped the tears from Zayn's face.

 

“Why were you crying Z?” Harry asked quietly. Zayn hesitated and pulled of his hat… His raven hair was gone. Harry just stared in shock at Zayn’s newly bald head; there was absolutely nothing there. Harry engulfed Zayn in a huge hug to try and comfort the small boy.

 

“Mean lady took my hair,” he said solemnly.

 

“She says she no give back, ever” Zayn said, starting to cry again.

 

“She say I start my medicine and I can’t have hair. She says it make my Ouchy better. Harry just looked at the boy in shock. He knew exactly what Zayn was talking about, Chemo therapy… Zayn had cancer… Harry’s face grew grim, that was the evil disease that took his mother. He held Zayn close to his chest and refused to let go. He cried as quietly as possible, not wanting to frighten the 5 year old.

 

“Will my hair come back Hawwy?” Zayn asked innocently. Harry sighed. He wanted to change the subject. He reached around his head and untied the not in his bandana. He looked at it with sad eyes. His father gave him this bandana, he never took it off. The old piece of fabric was a bluish grey color with stars on it. “You are the only star to me,” were the words Harry’s dad said to him while giving him the cloth for his 6th birthday. Harry rubbed his fingers over the material before placing it around Zayn’s small head. He tied a knot in the back to secure it in place. He smiled looking at the boy; he looked so much like he did when he had received this gift for the first time.

 

“Now you can have cool blue hair,” Harry said with a sad smile. Zayn exploded with happiness. He reached up and felt his now covered head. He jumped up and gave Harry the biggest hug with all the strength his little arms could muster.

 

Tom just leaned against the wall on the other side of the room watching in awe. He couldn’t believe his eye. He smiled, turned and left, giving the two boys their time.

 

Harry saw the black power ranger once again sticking out from other the pillow.  
He grabbed in his hand and looked at it.

 

“Would you like to be the black one today Z?” Harry asked holding it out for the boy to take. He just shook his head.

 

“No?” Harry asked confused.

 

“You black power ranger always, but we no play that game now.” Zayn said strongly. Harry just gestured for him to go ahead. Zayn jumped down form the bed and walked over to the art corner. He grabbed a sketch book and some crayons. He jumped back on the bed and sat legs crossed with the art supplies in his lap. He smiled up at Harry. He bounced up and down excitedly.

 

“Now we color.” Zayn smiled. Harry smiled down once again at the eager boy and grabbed a crayon.

 

“No!” Zayn shouted “Wrong color,” he said. Harry just put the crayon back and picked up a purple one. Zayn shook his head again. This continued for about 3 minutes until Harry grabbed the black crayon. He was confused but gave in to Zayn anyway. Zayn eagerly started drawing on the paper. Harry couldn’t really tell what it was but was excited none the less. Zayn had his tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth like when he was trying to tell Harry how old he was. He scribbled and drew on about every inch of the paper.

 

After a long 30 minutes filled with many color changes and tongue biting, on Zayn’s part, the picture was finished, Harry didn’t help one bit. Zayn ripped the paper from the sketch book and held it up for Harry to see. It was a big brown blob. With all the colors he had used, Zayn drew a big blown, lop-sided circle. Harry looked at it with confusion.

 

“What is this Z?” Harry asked grabbing the picture to take a closer look.  
“This what mean lady says inside me…” Harry froze. I looked at Zayn with sad eyes.

 

Zayn smiled up at Harry, “Like it?” Zayn asked innocently. Harry sighed not knowing what to say.

 

“I… I um I love it Z, but how about we draw something else?” He asked. Zayn shrugged not getting Harry’s tone.

 

Zayn picked up a yellow crayon and started drawing a sun, well what is supposed be a sun… maybe. Harry picked up Zayn’s first picture once more and sighed. He was glad Zayn was so innocent; he wasn’t affected by any of this, not like Harry. Harry just feared for the day the chemo started getting unbearable and he became sicker, because when it happened to his mom he didn’t handle it very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes  
> Noooo!!!!!!!!! Zaynie has Cancer. I'm crying everywhere right now! Why am I such a horrible person???
> 
> So what do you think? Please leave comments below with feedback and just random things. I really hope everyone likes this story so far and want me to continue.
> 
> Sorry it's been a while I was grounded for not cleaning my room, parents kind of suck sometimes.
> 
>  
> 
> Bye for now  
> ~~Lauryn~~
> 
>  
> 
> COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT


	4. Day 3, Hour 11

Harry was sprawled out all over his bed, limbs in every direction and his face buried in his pillow; how he didn't suffocated is unknown. He was mentally and physically exhausted. He spent the majority of the previous night thinking and then crying and thinking some more about Zayn. He couldn't believe that a boy so sweet and innocent would be given such a terrible disease; he didn't want to believe it. He couldn't even imagine Zayn going through what his mother had gone through; she was always in pain even though she wouldn't say it and she could barely walk on her own. The chemo made her sick, the bald head made her insecure, and just the stress of trying to stay alive for her family pushed her over the edge. He didn't want to Zayn, his little Zayn, be in that much pain.

 

Harry awoke from his thought provoking dreams with a very fit Tom jumping on top of him. a loud grunt escaped from his lips as Tom laughed his head off.

 

"Ugh Tom, ppl-please g-get off of me," Harry pleaded breathlessly. Tom hooded but did indeed get up, straightening his suit.

 

"C'mon dimples you have to be at the hospital in an hour and a ha-" Tom couldn't even finish his sentence before Harry was shooting out if his bed and running to the bathroom." Tom just chuckled and walked down to his kitchen to make some breakfast.

 

Harry hummed along to an unknown tune while he scrubbed his hair with shampoo. The warm water hit his body making him forget about all of his previous worries. Boy he hoped that today would go well.

 

Day 3, hour 11. He stepped into the children's ward with a smile on his face; he would get to see Zayn again. Five hours a day simply wasn't enough time. He looked over to Zayn’s bed to see a small figure lying under the covers. He quickly walked over to him and placed his large hands on the boy's back.

 

"Z, Zaynie, wake up bud. It’s Harry." Harry whispered in the little boy’s ear; he didn't budge. Harry shook a little harder and Zayn’s eyes fluttered open. Zayn's small hands reached up and pulled the covers up above his head. Harry chuckled at his lazy antics. Zayn quickly went back to sleep. Harry was confused as to why the small boy was acting so tired when the day before he was so energetic and coloring and in such a great mood. Harry huffed and rubbed slow circles on Zayn’s back.

 

The nurse walked in and placed her hand on Harry’s shoulder.

 

"he just started chemo today" she said, "and he still pretty tired so after about an hour he should be back to normal," Harry nodded and the young nurse walked away. Harry took this time to look at the small boy in front of him; he was so small. Harry sighed thinking about how much Zayn’s life was about to change.

 

After 2 hours of Harry helping the nurses with chores, Zayn woke up and Harry was immediately by his side. When his golden brown eyes opened they were different they weren't as bright as usual. They were cloudy and sad and worst of all...scared. Zayn reached out and wrapped his little arms as tightly around Harry as he could. A tear skipped from both of their eyes; Harry's landing on Zayn’s bandana and Zayn’s landing on Harry's lap. It was a sad sight to witness. The two boys just laid there holding each other. Zayn shot up in bed and leaned over to the bucket a nurse had put next to his bed, just in case. He puked his guys out. Harry could do nothing but hold in his sobs and thin Zayn’s shaking back. Zayn say back yup when everything was out of him, tears rimmed his, now, blood shot eyes. Harry sighed and rapped Zayn in his warm embrace and rocked him until the younger lad fell back into a, hopefully, peaceful sleep.

 

After another hour of sleep both Harry and Zayn were up and the lunch lady was passing out lunches. Harry got his, and chicken sandwich and chips. The woman handed Zayn his sack and he reluctantly took it. He opened it and cringed.

 

"Look Z, it’s chicken, your favorite!" Harry said. Zayn picked up one chicken cube with his small fingers, using both hands to bring it to his mouth. He slightly nibbled on a small corner, like a mouse. He sighed, puked the chicken away from his lips and stared at  
it. Harry looked at the boy while stormy chewing a bite of his sandwich. He put it down and placed a hand on Zayn’s shoulder; he knew this symptom; lots of appetite. He remembered when it happens to his mother. She went from 145 to about 97 pounds during her 3 months of chemo. She got do weak, and Harry didn't want to see Zayn go through the same thing, especially Zayn was already only about 60 pounds.

 

"C'mon Zaynie," Harry urged, “you’ve got to eat." Zayn looked down at his chicken and picked up two pieces. He held one and gave the other to Harry.

 

"Only together," Zayn said quietly. Harry had tears once again threatening to fall from his eyes as a proud smile grew on his face. He nodded.

 

"Of course, always together. 1...2...3" with that the two ate the chicken. Zayn have Harry a smile, a weak one, but it was genuine.

 

They continued like that until all the chicken and chips were gone. They once again pulled out the power rangers. They had to save Mr. Potato Head from the mean Lego people; unfortunately, they had to stop for breaks a few times when Zayn’s medicine made him nauseous or dizzy.

 

Harry had put Zayn to bed and kissed his forehead before he left. As Harry saw Tom at the exit a nurse came up to him.

 

"Thank you Harry," the head nurse said.

 

"Thank you for being here for Zayn, he doesn't have anyone." Harry gave the woman a confused look.

 

"What do you mean no one?" He asked.

 

"Well when his parents found out he had cancer they left him. They told us they didn't be coming back and they gave up their parental rights and left forever. We haven't heard from them in months. Since Zayn is sick and so young the state I'd allowing us to keep him here for treatment." Harry gasped looking over at Zayn’s sleeping figure.

 

"Does he know?" He asked not looking away from Zayn.

 

"Yes he knows but he seems to not mind much, I don't think they treated him very well. Zayn's an orphan Harry, yet I haven't seen him smile so much like he does when you're around. Thank you so much." The woman finished and stared Harry in a hug. He was still looking at Zayn...an orphan...

 

He could help but repeat that word...orphan...orphan...orphan...over and over again during the car ride back to Tom's house...

 

Zayn is an orphan...just like Harry was...

the only difference was Harry's parents didn't choose to leave him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that was way sadder than I planned. I didn't mean to make it that depressing. Why am I such a horrible person??? I am like crying in my room by myself, I think my parents can hear me who knows.
> 
> So what do you think? Please leave comments below with feedback and just random things. I really hope everyone likes this story so far and want me to continue. I still don't know if I'm gonna stop at ten chapters or if I should make it longer. Maybe if i get more feedback i'll decide.
> 
> I want to make this story a little more interactive so every update I will share something that I have been obsessed with that I want you guys to check out, is that cool or nah? I don't care imma do it any way. ;)
> 
>  
> 
> ::OBSESSION OF THE WEEK::  
> My obsession of the week is Sam Smith! He is a singer, if you don't know who he is, with the most beautiful voice like ever. I love him and his music soooo much. My favorites though are Lay Me Down and Stay with Me. links are below. I really recommend that you check him out, he is truly amazing!
> 
> Lay Me Down ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgJBKU9ALa0
> 
> Stay with Me ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB-5XG-DbAA
> 
>  
> 
> Bye for now  
> ~~Lauryn~~
> 
> COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT


	5. Day 4, Hour 16

“Zayn was a lovely boy, he was happy and bubbly, and had the best personality I have ever seen any human being have. He loved power rangers and chicken cubes; he was my little buddy, and I was his.” Harry glanced down at the small children’s coffin Zayn was laid in. He looked so peaceful. He didn’t look in pain anymore, which was a good thing. A single tear had slipped down Harry’s face as he returned to his eulogy. He chuckled to himself sadly as he read the next line of his speech.

“It has only been a week since Zayn passed and I can still hear his little giggle in my head at night or feel is warm present when I fall asleep. I still have about 400 hours to complete at the hospital and it’s just so hard.” Harry’s composure was starting to falter. Tears viciously fell down his face as his breath hitched and hiccupped. He took a few deep breaths and continued on with his speech.

“Every day when I walk into the children’s ward and see his empty bed… I-I…” his voice cracked and his hands shook with sadness. How was he going to finish without breaking down completely? Everything was still so fresh in his mind.

“E-every day when I-I see his empty bed, it breaks my heart a little more each time. I remember laying right there in that very spot with him just last week. He was s-so tired and sick, I just thought it was the side effects again…” A choked sobbed came from his moth as he started to cry harder.

“N-n-no one t-told me he was d-d-ying, or that it would be so soon. N-no one told me that I would lose the only good thing in my life. He was my world. I took care of him and he care of me more than you could ever know. He truly my best friend, no offense Tom,” Tom shot Harry a sad smile, which he returned. Harry started again.

“He taught me more about life than I could have ever imagined. He taught me how to love and how to live, most importantly, how to live happily. He showed me to not take life too seriously; that power ranger wars were fine and playing dress up was normal. He taught me to be in the moment and not worry about the day before or the day ahead of us. Zayn was my savior. That little boy saved my life in so many ways and I wish I could thank him, b-but I can’t. All I can do is try to never forget the sound of his laugh or his love chicken cubes. I wish this was a joke, I wish God had other plans, but he doesn’t; if this is what is in store for me then so be it; I will just have to live my life as would Zayn and make sure he is never forgotten again.” Harry stepped down from the podium; he walked in front of Zayn’s still body and hovered over him. He placed a soft hand on the boy’s cold cheek as a tear slipped from his eye and onto Zayn’s forehead. He gently wiped at away and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a bandana…Zayn’s bandana…He carefully unfolded it and started down at the old fabric, “You are the only star to me,” he whispered softly, so only Zayn could hear him. H wrapped the bandana around Zayn’s small head smoothly. He tied a small knot and stepped back admiring the boy. He leaned down, placed a kiss upon his forehead where the tear had landed and sighed.

“Goodbye Z, I love you so much and I will see you again…” He said as he ran out of the chapel sobbing. He ran and ran until he couldn’t run anymore. After what only seemed like 5 minutes, he had reached the children’s ward of the hospital; how he ended dup hear was a mystery. Maybe it was his body telling him that he wasn’t done today, that he had one more thing to do. He glanced over to Zayn’s old bed and something was off. The blanket was folded slightly so Harry’s side of the bed was uncovered. He smiled up to the sky knowing what he had to do. He walked slowly to the bed and rubbed the smooth covers. He carefully got into bed and made sure not to screw up Zayn’s side. He laid down and started to close his eyes when he felt something hard in the bed. He looked under Zayn’s pillow and found none other than the black power ranger. He held it tightly to his chest as he sobbed quietly until fatigue caught up to him and he fell asleep…

 

Harry shot up in bed sweat dripping from his head. He looked over at the clock and shot out of bed. He put his clothes on as quickly as possible and tripped many times along the way. He ran to the Hospital because he wasn’t allowed to drive yet. After about 20 minutes at a full out sprint, Harry reached the door to the children’s ward and looked inside. He saw Zayn’s small body sleeping in bed, a sigh of relief flew from his lips. A small old nurse came up behind him confused.

“Mr, Harry? Why are your here right now, It’s 4 in the morning?” She asked worriedly.

“Oh nothing I just wanted to make sure everything was fine,”

“Ok. I can assure you that everything is fine. Please go home son and get some rest. Harry obliged and slowly turned towards the exit.

He walked back to Tom’s house and laid in bed. He was happy and scared at the same time. He was happy that his dream was just a dream, but he was scared that his dream could eventually come true. He laid there thinking about everything that just happened and stared up at the ceiling until his alarm broke his thoughts. His clock read 8:30 and he sighed. He didn’t get to sleep, he was exhausted, but none of that mattered because he was going to see Zayn. He wasn’t going to waste any time.

Day 4, Hour 16…

Harry was still a little shaken up from the night before but he was trying to push that aside. At the moment he was helping some of the nurses fold sheets and pick up toys while Zayn was getting todays chemo. He walked over to Zayn’s bed to put clean sheets down when he saw his file laid out on the pillow. He looked around to see if anyone was watching or looking for it, but there was nothing, just kids playing. He sat down on the bed and carefully picked the folder up and shakily held it up to his face. He slowly read over the files trying to comprehend everything. It was so hard for him to look at; all of these big words and strange medications. Tears pricked his eyes; he couldn’t believe all of the terrible things they were pumping into his little Zayn, the side effects from his medication seemed worse than the cancer itself. He was taking Cyclophosphamide, doxorubicin, vincristine, and some prednisolone. Harry could barely pronounce them all. His chest was heavy as he read down the list of side effects, Immunosuppression and myelosuppression, Anemia, Nausea and vomiting, Secondary neoplasm, Cognitive impairment, and a crap ton of other things. Tears fell from his eyes, he slammed the folder shut with rage; how could they treat a little boy like this? He thought to himself. He jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom and violently threw up into the toilet. All of this was just too overwhelming.

 

Zayn hobbled into the room with the saddest expression on his face. He was holding the nurse’s hand so weakly it hurt to watch. His steps were slow and choppy; he had tear stains along his cheeks and his eyes were red and puffy. Harry walked over to him and got one knee wrapping his arms around Zayn’s skinny body; Zayn started sobbing, his tears soaked Harry’s shirt. Harry just let the small boy cry on his shoulder.  
After about 20 minutes Harry heard the worst possible words leave Zayn’s lips.

“Hawwy… I’m scared…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that was really really really sad . I didn't mean to make it that depressing. I am like crying in my room by myself.
> 
> So what do you think? Please leave comments below with feedback and just random things. I really hope everyone likes this story so far and want me to continue. I still don't know if I'm gonna stop at ten chapters or if I should make it longer. Maybe if i get more feedback i'll decide.
> 
> I want to make this story a little more interactive so every update I will share something that I have been obsessed with that I want you guys to check out, is that cool or nah? I don't care imma do it any way. ;)
> 
> ::OBSESSION OF THE WEEK::  
> My obsession of the week is still Sam Smith! He is just so amazing and this week I am obssesed with his Stripped version of Mak It To Me. It is so beautiful and soft; I just wish I had a boyfriend to cuddle with while listening to it. The link is below. What are you obbsessed with this week and how are you liking this story?
> 
> Make It To Me (stripped) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULPDq02zavs
> 
>  
> 
> Bye for now  
> ~~Lauryn~~


	6. Day 5, Hour 21

Day 5, hour 21

Today Harry had something very special for Zayn. He got out of bed this morning with a little more pep in his step. He smiled and hummed to himself as he looked through his closet. Most of the clothes were Tom's but that didn't bother Harry, he was just grateful for everything that he had. When Harry was all dressed and cleaned up from his restless sleep he bent down and grabbed Zayn’s surprise. He placed it in the case and slung it over his shoulder. He was sure this would make Z happy, at least for the few hours that Harry got to spend with him.  
Harry skipped down the stairs with pure joy and excitement; Zayn got to show Harry his favorites things and now it was Harry's turn. Tom looked at him with a questioning look.

"Why so happy there Harry?" He asked smirking at the lanky boy in front of him.

"Oh it's nothing," he tried to sound convincing but just couldn't get rid of the enormous smile that was trapped on his face. Harry tried to walk to the kitchen without any more questioning but it didn't work.

"Whatcha got there?" Tom asked teasingly.

"Oh nothing," Harry said once again.

"Right," Tom spoke dragging out the I. He just chuckled to himself and let Harry do whatever he had planned but he was pretty sure he already knew because he could hear Harry practicing for it last night.  
Harry ate some cereal and anxiously washed in Tim's car for him to come out and take him to the hospital. Huts foot tapped incessantly as he waited longer and longer. He was about to jump out of the car and drag tin outside but he saw his friend waking outside and locking the door behind him.

For Harry, the drive was incredibly long. He thought that for some reason Tom had chosen to take the long way, he hadn't, Harry was just too excited. As they pulled into the hospital parking lot Harry bounced up and down like a little kid on a Sugar high. He ran it if the car as soon as the car stopped; not even waiting for Tom to park. Harry ran inside and you the stairs, because he was too impatient to wait for an elevator, to the 3rd floor where the children's ward was. The light shone bright from the other side of the wooden door. Harry grabbed the handle and t twisted it within his fingers. He opened it to see Zayn’s smiling face waiting for him by the door. Over the course of the week Zayn has memorized when Harry comes to play with him. He waits and waits for him to offer his head from behind the big door.

"Harry!!" Zayn tells, running up to the tall boy and hugging his legs. Harry picked him up and rested him on his hip hop they child be at the same level.

"Hey little man, how are you?" Harry asked pinching Zayn’s cheek causing a loud Google to fall from his lips.

"Good, but miss you. Why leave do much?" Zayn asked. Harry frowned not knowing exactly what to say.

"Um,I...Um,I..I live with my best friend and he would be really mad if I came home late." Said Harry, he couldn't really say much else. He didn't think that 'i have to go home because I'm a criminal and I can't be past 6:00 or they'll send me to jail' would be very appropriate to say to a 5 year old. Zayn just said ok and moved on.

"What that?" Zayn said pointing to the large case strapped to Harry's shoulder. Harry had completely forgotten why he was so excited to get here today. He walked over and sat Zayn down on his bed as he pulled out the shiny wooden guitar out of the case. Zayn’s eyes practically pooped out if his head. He became echoed by just looking at the beautiful instrument with scuffles all over it, autographs.

"Wanna hear song Z?" Harry asked, Zayn just nodded his head with enthusiasm.

"Ok" Hart said as he played a chord in the guitar.

"Mary had a little lamb little lamb little lamb, May had a lit..." Zayn looked at Harry with a questioning look.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Song no good, sing good song," Harry laughed at Zayn’s pickiness.

"Ok how about this... abc, it's way as 123, out simple as do re mi, abc 123 baby you an-"

"No, good doing! Sing bout Harry." Zayn demanded.

"Ok," Harry thought for a while until the perfect song came to him. He sighed and played the first chord.

"Yes I do, I believe  
That one day I will be, where I was  
Right there, right next to you  
And it's hard, the days just seem so dark  
The moon, the stars, are nothing without you," he picked lay me down by Sam Smith because it was about his past. About how he wanted to go back to the way things were. Mainly it's about his fiance, his soul mate, his one true love. He lost her and could never find another girl like her.

"Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?  
No words can explain, the way I’m missing you  
The night, this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside  
These tears, they tell their own story" tears started to prick his eyes. Zayn just say there in awe.

"You told me not to cry when you were gone  
But the feeling’s overwhelming, they're much too strong" he was now full on crying. Zayn got up and placed his little head on Harry's back while he sang. He could feel the vibrations from Harry's voice go through his whole body.

"Can I lay by your side, next to you, you  
and make sure you’re alright  
I’ll take care of you,  
and I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight  
I’m reaching out to you  
Can you hear my call?  
This hurt that I’ve been through  
I’m missing you, missing you like crazy" Harry thought back to the day’s right after the death of all his loved ones. He felt so alone; he missed his family so much which caused his downward spiral.

"You told me not to cry when you were gone  
But the feeling’s overwhelming, they're much too strong  
Can I lay by your side, next to you, you  
And make sure you’re alright  
I’ll take care of you  
And I don’t wanna be here if I can’t be with you tonight  
Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side  
Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side  
Can I lay by your side, next to you, you  
And make sure you’re alright  
I’ll take care of you  
And I don’t wanna be here if I can’t be with you tonight".

That line spoke to Harry the most. After everything happened, he really didn't want to live without everyone else there with him.  
Harry say with his guitar in hand, the only thing he has left from his past, as he cried. Zayn just burned him until he stopped. Harry's breaking asked as he regained composure.

"Thank you little man," he spoke to Zayn while hugging the life out of him.

"Thank you so much!"

"For what?" The little boy asked.

"For being you," Harry said quietly with a smile. Zayn just nodded and went back to hugging Harry.

The rest of the day went as planned: the boys talked, played games, ate lunch, and Harry played his guitar for some of the other kids and helped the nurses with some work. Ask in ask it was a good day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I just want to say I am not dead. finals are this week and I have been trying to study and what not. I am so sorry that I had to postpone updating this story for so long. I feel really bad about all of this. If there is anything I can do to when you guys back just tell me down below and I will do it. I just wanted to give you something to read since it's been a month. I will be getting back into my usual updating pattern soon because I only have a week and a half of school left. Please don't be too mad. I still love you all.
> 
> ::OBSESSION OF THE WEEK::  
> My obsession of the week is studying. I really want to do good on finals and keep my straight A's up.
> 
> What is your weekly obsession????
> 
>  
> 
> Bye for now  
> ~~Lauryn~~
> 
> COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT


	7. Day 6, Hour 26

“Mr. Styles could you please go help the other nurses, you can’t see Zayn today.” The angry woman said over and over again yet Harry refused to listen, he didn’t want to. He had to see Zayn. Zayn was the only nice thing he to look forward to during the day. He had no one besides Tom but even his best friend didn’t give him the comfort Zayn gave him. Something about his childish optimism made Harry feel hopeful; hopeful that not the entire world was evil. But then he would remember the terrible virus running through Zayn’s little body and would realize that the world really is evil it just had a few rays of joy in various places. His ray of light was Zayn.

“Please just let me see him, he needs me; I need him. Please” Harry pleaded for the thousandth time. He needed to see his Zayn. Harry held back every bit of him to not call Zayn his son because in reality he wasn’t, but to Harry, Zayn was his boy.

“Sir I have told you enough times now, you cannot see him today he is very, very ill and shouldn’t be bothered.” The unpleasant woman started to walk away.

“Please, he is the only family I have. Please I beg you,” Harry was now in tears. His voice cracked and shook with each rattled breath. The woman pitied him. A long, drawn out sigh left her lips.

“Ok, fine, but don’t get him too riled up. He needs his rest; he is very week today,” Harry nodded happily and eagerly. He followed the nurse to the children’s ward and into a special room for the “special kids”. In layman’s terms that is where the doctors stuck the kids that they thought were about to die.

Outside the door, Harry could hear coughing and gaging and loud sighs from exhausted nurses. He mustered up as much courage as possible and turned the door knob within his wet, shaky fingers.

“Here goes nothing,” he whispered to himself. He opened the door and his heart plummeted. He locked eyes with a bald girl in the corner. Her eyes were filled with so much angst and pain. Her lips were dry and her eyes were teary and bloodshot. Harry’s breath caught in his throat as he looked around the room; every child looked the same; tired, scared, and lonely. The feelings, quite frankly, are some of the worst feelings and human being can endure let alone a child who has barely had the time to live at all.

He walked up to a pale Zayn Malik with cautious steps. His little body was huddled under his covers and sweat dripped from his forehead even though he had the shivers as well. Harry sighed, something he had been doing a lot lately, as he looked upon the small boy. He traced his hand along Zayn’s burning forehead. Feeling the heat Harry decided to take Zayn’s bandana off so He could cool off a little.

A soft “no,” left Zayn’s lips.

“Ok buddy I’m sorry.” Harry walked over to a sink and soaked the bandana in ice cold water then proceeded to wrap it back around Zayn’s naked head. A content smile grow on Zayn’s face as he fell back to sleep. The nurse smiled at Harry with approval.

“Thank you,” was all she said, all she needed to say.  
Harry nodded in reply. He looked down at Zayn once more and kissed his forehead. He walked out the room with tears threatening to spill from his eyes for the second time that morning.

After a few more hours of helping the nurses with some chores, Harry was on his way home, well to Tom’s home.

“Tom?” Harry said, laid out on Tom’s couch with tears in his eyes.

“Harry what’s wrong?” Tom asked with concern in his voice.

“You know Tom I wasn’t always like this.”

“Like what?” Tom asked confused.

“I wasn’t a fool, a nobody, a loner. I had prospects; I was going to do something with my life.” Harry said quietly getting slightly choked up.

“You can still do that; don’t limit yourself Harry.”

“You wanna know something Tom? I never tried to kill anybody; I was trying to kill myself.” Harry said laughing a cynical, smile-less laugh. Tom didn’t know what to say. He sat there moving his lips apart to speak but nothing came out.

“H-harry why… why would you do that? I’m sorry that was a stupid question-“

“No Tom, It’s fine. The truth? I was just spent. I was tired and alone and felt worthless. I lost my parents, the love of my life, my dream school, my home, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I was tired of seeing people look at me with disgust. I used to have a future planned out for me but things changed and I changed with them.” Harry sat there with tears rolling down his face calmly.

“The day I was arrested I had bought as much drugs that I could with the tiny amount of money I had left, which was barely any, and tried to make myself overdose but I couldn’t buy enough drugs to get the job done, I just got really high.” Harry took a few deep breaths.

“I stole a gun from a nearby gun shop and walked into the alley. I guess it isn’t a great Idea to use a gun while high off the walls.” Harry chuckled darkly.

“I couldn’t keep the gun straight so I just shot it. I missed and hit the cop car. They started chasing me and then I met you. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want community service or jail, I wanted to be dead.” Harry ended balling his eyes out. Tome sat next to Harry in the couch and engulfed him in a hug and just rocked him back and forth. They first form of love Harry had seen in a long time.

“Thank you Harry,’ Tom said softly. Harry looked at him with confusion.

“I thank you for helping me enjoy my job again. I used to love it because I could help people but soon my job became work instead of something I loved to do. Since I met you Harry, I have come to love my job once again. You have taught me so much more than you give yourself credit for.” Harry smiled and leaned into Tom’s hug.

“Oh and Harry don’t forget, you do have family. You have me and Zayn, so the next time you feel like ending it all, remember that you do have people that love you and I can tell you for a fact that Zayn would not be able to survive if you were gone.”  
Harry nodded into Tom’s chest and drifted into sleep. Once Harry was asleep Tom put Harry in his room and put him into bed. Tom stood at the doorway before turning of Harry’s lights.

 

“I hope it gets better kid,” He said to himself as he turned off the lights and walked to him own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that was kind of sad... I didn't mean to make it that depressing.
> 
> So what do you think? Please leave comments below with feedback and just random things.  
> Sorry for being such a shitty updater.
> 
> I will update The Fire in His Eyes soon! But go check it out if you aren't reading it yet. #selfprommo
> 
> ::OBSESSION OF THE WEEK::  
> My obsession of the week is the new Kardashian Hollywood game! I am obsessed. I am the number one A-lister whoop whoop!!!
> 
> Bye for now  
> ~~Lauryn~~
> 
> COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT


	8. Day 10, Hour 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **READ NOTES AT THE END THEY ARE VERY VERY IMPORTANT**

**READ NOTES AT THE END THEY ARE VERY VERY IMPORTANT**

I can’t breathe. I mean I can physically breathe but it feels like the air is crushing me with its all mighty fist. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can only see darkness. No dreams or memories flooding through my head; just emptiness. It’s terrifying to say the least. It brings me to tears knowing that my own body won’t let me see the shit that is happening around me. I can’t come to terms, no matter how hard I try, with the fact that my life is an utter piece of shit. I lost everything and just when I think I can start over; my dreams are slowly being pulled away from me yet again. Life is hard, truth is hard, reality is hard too but it doesn’t click with me. I never thought it would be this hard, or this unfair. I knew I’d have bumps in the road but this is all too much for anyone to handle.

I haven’t been able to see Zayn for a few days because he’s doing really badly and since I’m not his father or his legal guardian, I’m not allowed to see him in this state. I feel bad, and guilty, and scared about leaving him alone. I know it’s out of my control but I just wish there was something I could do to help him more than I have been.

 

Harry sat in the nurses’ locker room after a shower thinking about what he was doing wrong for everything to be like this. He sat naked on a bench. At this moment he didn’t really care if anyone walked in, he was just too empty to give a shit. His mind wandered to terrible places, places where he was the sick one or one where he was the only human left alive. He just couldn’t stop thinking about his life… about everything. He slowly pulled his underwear up his legs. They slid over his hairy shins and up his thighs as he pulled them up over his penis. He adjusted himself absent mindedly while watching his body move in the mirror. He was disgusted by his reflection. He watched his ribs poke through his skin and looked at the area upon his torso that used to be covered in perfect abs which was not flat and sunken in. His eyes tear up at the sight of all the small red lines littering his pale body; memories of his darkest times. He pulled his pants up over his skinny legs and pulled his shirt over his shoulders. He was in the same building as Zayn yet he felt so far away, so alone. Harry still had to do his community service hours whether he was with Zayn or not. He clipped on his temporary name badge and looked back at the mirror.

“What have I become,” he thought to himself. With a sullen sigh, he walked out of the locker room and into the children’s ward. Harry hated being in the children’s ward when Zayn was sitting in a room meant for children close to death. He absent mindedly folded some blankets and placed random toys back into their respective cubbies and bins.

He started humming quietly to himself as he washed some dirty sheets.

When I’m feeling weak  
And my pain walks down a one way street  
I look above  
And I know I’ll always be blessed with love

Angels by Robbie Williams. He sang it whenever he was scared. His mother used to sing it to him, even up to the time of her death. She was Harry’s strength; she was Harry’s hero and savior.

And as the feeling grows  
She breathes flesh to my bones  
And when love is dead  
I'm loving angels instead

Harry let tears fall down his face as he stacked pillows on a shelf. He didn’t know what to do anymore. Should he keep crying, should he give up, should he…kill himself? The thought of it crossed his mind every second of every day. He imagined how he would do it and where; what his goodbye letter would say, but every time he was able to get the courage to go through with it, Zayn’s little face would pop into his head and stop him from doing anything too stupid. At those times he would just settle for cutting because it reflected the pain he was feeling but wouldn’t take him away from his Zayn. He would watch the blood trickle down his wrists and stain his bracelets. The thick liquid would get stuck in the leather bands wrapped around his arms and he would just watch it pool.

“How did I get like this?” he would ask himself when he slid the cool metal along his flesh.

And through it all she offers me protection  
A lot of love and affection  
Whether I'm right or wrong  
And down the waterfall  
Wherever it may take me  
I know that life won't break me  
When I come to call she won't forsake me  
I'm loving angels instead

Harry looked out into the busy children’s ward and watched children giggle and play with their toys. He wiped the tears from his eyes as a sad smile grew on his face. He looked up as if someone was talking to him through the ceiling.

“Yes, I know… yes but…I don’t… but…I know, and I sorry.”

This has been happening more and more often; him talking himself, or his mother rather. He would sit alone and just talk to her, tell her about his problems and how much he missed her; it was sweet, and sad, and some may call him crazy, but isn’t everyone a little bit crazy.

It was the end of the day. Harry walked back into the nurse’s lounge and stripped once again. He didn’t want to look at himself this time; he just went directly for the shower. He stood under the hot water with his long arms by his sides. He let the scolding water burn his skin until it was bright red. He scrubbed his skin and massaged his scalp as if he had been dirty, but he’s been clean since his shower only 5 hours ago. He didn’t think he needed to be clean; he just used the burning heat to make himself feel something, feel anything.

He stepped out of the shower and padded his body dry. He put fresh clothes on, grabbed his bag and headed outside to meet Tom at the hospital entrance.

“Hey H dawg!” Tom yelled at Harry.

“Tom,” he giggled, something he always did around Tom, “do not call me that, it makes me sound like a cheap baseball player,” he said with a smile.

“Haha ok, H dizzle,” harry shot him a look.

“Ok, ok, I’m done, Harry,” Tom said.

“Thank y-“  
“Bo barry” Tom smirked trying to hold in his laughter as Harry just shoved him. Tom wrapped his arm back around Harry’s shoulder as they walked to his car to go home.

“So, how was your day?” Tom asked while driving down an empty road.

“It was hard like every other day but I did all of my work and tried not to think about Z-Z… him too much.” Tom stopped the car because no one was behind them on the road and placed a hand on Harry’s knee.

“Harry, things will get better in time don’t worry.” Tom said looking straight into Harry’s eyes. No tears came out, but Harry sniffled as he nodded his head.

Tom restarted the car and continued home; Harry stared at the side of Tom’s head the entire drive home just thinking. He didn’t think Tom noticed, but he did and it just made him smile.

“Come on loser,” Tom said getting out of the car. Harry got out of the car and jumped on Tom’s back with a thud. They just laughed as Tom carried Harry inside. Tom sat him down to get his keys out of his back pocket.  
Harry plopped down on the couch with a huff.

“I am drained.” Harry said out loud, not necessarily to Tom just into the air. Tom ran over and jumped on top of Harry.

“Get off of me you fat piece of lard, I can’t breathe!” He yelled into the fabric on Tom’s shirt. Tom got up and settled on sitting next to the curly headed boy.

“So what do you say? Does it feel like a Netflix kind of night?”

“I think it does,” Harry said smiling. Tom smiled back and popped up off the couch and started running to the kitchen.

“I’m gonna start the popcorn, pick us out something good to watch.” Harry nodded and started looking through all of the choices Netflix has to offer.

They watched The Avengers; well half watched it and half threw popcorn at each other. Harry had fallen asleep and Tom carried him to his room. He took off Harry’s shoes and pants and put him under the blankets and closed the door behind him as he went to his own room.  
He brushed his teeth and got ready for bed. He sat up in bed thinking about the day and getting confused with his thoughts and the way he acted today.

“What is going on with me?” he said to himself as a flicked of the lights and pulled the covers over his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes  
> Hi everyone. I know it has literally been forever since I have updated and I'm sorry, but a lot of awful shit has been happening in my life. I did't have the strength to do anything really. But one day I realized there are only two things in life that really make me happy and those are music and writing.I started composing music again like they way I used to before I became sad, and I realized that writing is the only thing I have the allows me to be completely myself and not worry about the world around me. I'm sorry for the long wait but I know that i need my stories to help me get through this time. So please all ask from all of you guys is to just stick with me because i'm sticking with you!
> 
> But anyway back to the writing. I really hope you liked it. I don't know if you noticed but I kind of made Harry and Tom flirt with each other. Please don't hate me but I think I want to make them love interests so Zayn isn't the only plot lot. You can't have a good story with only one plot point. And wouldn't they be totally CUTE!! I am really like idea of having them get together at some point in time. They won't be a huge pert of the story, just a little side piece so it isn't always about Zayn. I will tell you now that I will never write smut of the two of them, I just want to write a cute bubbly relationship to make the story a little lighter. I really want to go with idea and roll with it but I would really like your input, what do you all think? Please leave comments below.
> 
> Bye for now Lovelies,
> 
> Lauryn :)


	9. Day 11, Hour 51

“Hey H dawg!” Tom yelled at Harry.

“Tom,” he giggled, something he always did around Tom, “do not call me that, it makes me sound like a cheap baseball player,” he said with a smile.

“Haha ok, H dizzle,” harry shot him a look.

“Ok, ok, I’m done, Harry,” Tom said.

“Thank y-“  
“Bo barry” Tom smirked trying to hold in his laughter as Harry just shoved him. Tom wrapped his arm back around Harry’s shoulder as they walked to his car to go home.

“So, how was your day?” Tom asked while driving down an empty road.

“It was hard like every other day but I did all of my work and tried not to think about Z-Z… him too much.” Tom stopped the car because no one was behind them on the road and placed a hand on Harry’s knee.

“Harry, things will get better in time don’t worry.” Tom said looking straight into Harry’s eyes. No tears came out, but Harry sniffled as he nodded his head.

Tom restarted the car and continued home; Harry stared at the side of Tom’s head the entire drive home just thinking. He didn’t think Tom noticed, but he did and it just made him smile.

“Come on loser,” Tom said getting out of the car. Harry got out of the car and jumped on Tom’s back with a thud. They just laughed as Tom carried Harry inside. Tom sat him down to get his keys out of his back pocket.  
Harry plopped down on the couch with a huff.

“I am drained.” Harry said out loud, not necessarily to Tom just into the air. Tom ran over and jumped on top of Harry.

“Get off of me you fat piece of lard, I can’t breathe!” He yelled into the fabric on Tom’s shirt. Tom got up and settled on sitting next to the curly headed boy.

“So what do you say? Does it feel like a Netflix kind of night?”

“I think it does,” Harry said smiling. Tom smiled back and popped up off the couch and started running to the kitchen.

“I’m gonna start the popcorn, pick us out something good to watch.” Harry nodded and started looking through all of the choices Netflix has to offer.

They watched The Avengers; well half watched it and half threw popcorn at each other. Harry had fallen asleep and Tom carried him to his room. He took off Harry’s shoes and pants and put him under the blankets and closed the door behind him as he went to his own room.  
He brushed his teeth and got ready for bed. He sat up in bed thinking about the day and getting confused with his thoughts and the way he acted today.

“What is going on with me?” he said to himself as a flicked of the lights and pulled the covers over his shoulders.

 

Tom woke up feeling confused yet…warm? He had the most amazing dream during his sleep and he was somewhat saddened when he was forced to wake up by the blaring screech of his alarm clock. Why he decided to make his alarm dubstep was beside him because it scared him shitless every morning.

Tom collected himself after the miniature heart attack he had just endured and forced himself out of his warm bed. He trudged into his bathroom; if it was unclear, Tom is definitely not a morning person. He flipped on the sink faucet to as cold as it could go and filled his cupped hands with freezing water. He brought it to his face and splashed it all over until he was refreshed and fully awake. He raised his head to look into the mirror but his reflection was blocked by a yellow sticky note. He pulled it off the glass as he grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste. He read the note with the toothbrush loosely sticking out of his mouth. A smile started to pull at his lips as he read the note.

“Hey Tom, it’s Harry but I guess you probably knew that already or else there would be some stranger walking around your house and writing you cute notes. Anyway I couldn’t sleep last night so I got up early this morning (3:00) and walked to the 24 hour store. I got some ingredients to make us the best breakfast ever!...”

 

Tom saw a little arrow on the corner of the paper saying flip over and he continued reading.

“I wanted to let you rest and I needed to get some fresh air so I decided to walk to the hospital. I know the walk is an hour and a half but Harry is a strong boy and he can to do it. ;) So any ways, go enjoy your food and I’ll see you in about 6 hours!”  
Tom couldn't control the smile on his face as he put down the note to finish his morning routine.

Tom opened his bedroom door to the heavenly smell of sausages and maple syrup. He practically ran down the stairs like a child on Christmas day. His mouth dropped open to the sight in front of him. Harry hadn’t said anything about fresh juice, fresh biscuits, and warm strawberry waffles. He slowly walked into the kitchen in awe. He sat down at the counter and started to enjoy the amazing meal.

Harry enjoyed the fresh, crisp air of the early morning. Today he had a pep in his step; things were looking up. He had gotten a call earlier today from the hospital saying that Zayn had been released back into regular holding and is doing a hundred times better than before.

Harry was ecstatic that Zayn was ok but for some reason he couldn’t stop thinking about what Tom and what his face must’ve looked like when he saw his surprise. He continued thinking about hit parole officer, which was incredibly wrong, as he continued the long walk to the hospital to see his special man.

 

“Harry!!” Zayn yelled running up to Harry with his arms open wide. Harry couldn’t hold back the tears the formed in his eyes as he held Zayn as close as possible.

“I’ve missed you so much little man,” Harry sobbed into Zayn’s tiny shoulder. Zayn used all of his strength to hold onto Harry’s sweatshirt.

“Zayn loves Harry,” Zayn said to Harry, looking into his eyes. Harry pulled Zayn back in.

“and Harry loves Zayn…”

Zayn and Harry spent all five hours just catching up. The other nurses didn’t mind that Harry wasn’t doing any work because they knew that both of them needed this time together. At lunch, Harry asked the cook if he could help make lunch and he made all of the kids a special meal. Earlier Harry had asked the kids what their five favorite food were and so he made hamburgers, tacos, pizza, mac and cheese, and tater tots; he also made each child their own personal cupcake because he thought today was worth celebrating.

Everyone was finishing their food when Tom came in, ready to pick Harry up. He just leaned against the door frame and smiled at Harry playing withal of the children and for some reason his mind went to the image of Harry holding his own child and being a great father and… Husband? He just shook it off and walked over to where Harry was sitting.

“Hey handsome,” Tom could not believe he just said that out loud… Harry looked up at him with a blush.

“ I was talking to Zayn…”

“ Nice save loser…Is it already time to go?”

“I’m afraid so.” Tom said. Harry looked up at him with a big pouty face.

“Ok…Zany I gotta go baby.” Harry said picking Zayn up and placing him on his hip.

“Ok,” Zayn said with a pout that matched Harry’s. Tom smiled at that and started to walk towards the door. Harry put Zayn down and said goodbye to all the kids.

Tom and Harry walked side-by-side through the parking lot. Their hands kept brushing against each other yet neither one of them were trying to stop it. A small smile poked at the corner of Harry’s lips as Tom’s hand slowly slipped into his own. Tom let out a quiet sigh of relief when Harry didn’t pull away from his gesture. They walked hand in hand to the car. They sang along to the radio and played eye spy just like every other day; like they hadn’t just been holding hands. The drive was fun and comfortable just like always.

“So am I cooking or ordering?” Tom yelled to Harry from the kitchen.

“Tom, you don’t cook…” Harry said sarcastically from his position on the sofa.

“You’re right what shall I order your majesty?”

“Um I could go for Chinese.”

“Well, then Chinese it is! I’ll call Boling’s. Pork fried rice and broccoli beef, right?”

“Aww you know my order, you’re such a gentleman.” Tom giggled. GIGGLED!

“I try.”

The two sat on the couch, rather closely, and sharing their food, and fighting over the last spring roll. After dinner Harry leaned into Tom’s chest as they started the second season of Dexter. Harry was praying to the heavens that Tom was ok with the closeness. Once again Harry fell asleep on the couch but only this time he had a sleeping Tom underneath him.  
The two stayed in the same position all night without interruption; Harry lying in Tom’s arms and Tom falling asleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked it. I don't know if you noticed, even though it is really really obvious, but I kind of made Harry and Tom flirt with each other. Please don't hate me but I think I want to make them love interests so Zayn isn't the only plot line in the story. You can't have a good story with only one plot point. And wouldn't they be totally CUTE!! I am really like idea of having them get together at some point in time. They won't be a huge part of the story, just a little side piece so it isn't always about Zayn. I will tell you now that I will never write smut of the two of them, I just want to write a cute bubbly relationship to make the story a little lighter. I really want to go with idea and roll with it but I would really like your input, what do you all think?
> 
> Please leave comments below and tell me what you think about my idea!!!!
> 
> Bye for now Lovelies,  
> Lauryn :)


	10. Day 12, Hour 56

Tom and Harry walked side-by-side through the parking lot. Their hands kept brushing against each other yet neither one of them were trying to stop it. A small smile poked at the corner of Harry’s lips as Tom’s hand slowly slipped into his own. Tom let out a quiet sigh of relief when Harry didn’t pull away from his gesture. They walked hand in hand to the car. They sang along to the radio and played eye spy just like every other day; like they hadn’t just been holding hands. The drive was fun and comfortable just like always.

“So am I cooking or ordering?” Tom yelled to Harry from the kitchen.

“Tom, you don’t cook…” Harry said sarcastically from his position on the sofa.

“You’re right what shall I order your majesty?”

“Um I could go for Chinese.”

“Well, then Chinese it is! I’ll call Boling’s. Pork fried rice and broccoli beef, right?”

“Aww you know my order, you’re such a gentleman.” Tom giggled. GIGGLED!

“I try.”

The two sat on the couch, rather closely, and sharing their food, and fighting over the last spring roll. After dinner Harry leaned into Tom’s chest as they started the second season of Dexter. Harry was praying to the heavens that Tom was ok with the closeness. Once again Harry fell asleep on the couch but only this time he had a sleeping Tom underneath him.

The two stayed in the same position all night without interruption; Harry lying in Tom’s arms and Tom falling asleep with a smile on his face.

 

Unknown feelings kept flooding through Tom’s body like a cold. He could feel it in his fingertips and the tip of his nose. He knew it was wrong but it just felt so good. He never noticed all of the times a smiled tugged at his lips when a lawyer at work mentioned Harry’s name or the way his heart skips a beat when Him and Harry made unexpected eye contact. He didn’t want to feel this way, not towards his client, his friend…best friend…his only friend. He stood in his shower with the water running over his head, thinking about what he was doing. “Is this ok? Will this end badly” These questions flooded his mind all day and night. The constant hand holding and cuddling didn’t help to ease his constant reservations. He knew what this feeling was but he didn’t want to say it out loud. This wasn’t love, not yet, but it is pretty damn close. With time Tom doesn’t know how much longer he will be able to keep himself PG.

Harry staid lay out on the couch thinking the same things Tom was thinking. He knew he was in touch with his feminine side, but to actually have…feelings for a man was something he had no idea he could be capable of. His mind raced with thousands of scenarios, mostly dirty scenarios, but scenarios none the less of a relationship with Tom. Some might call him crazy for falling for a man, falling for his lawyer, parole officer, friend, after only 2 weeks but something made this feel like 2 years. They woke up together, ate breakfast together, and went to bed together, everything; so that just naturally sped up the process. He knew this feeling was not a passing phase.

Harry didn’t know whether to be confused, scared, or excited about what was going on in his head. All he knew was that he had new feelings and should be thinking someway about them. He had urges to run up and kiss Tom but he didn’t think it appropriate. He wants to jump into his arms and never let go. He had never felt something like this before. He did love his fiancé, more than anything, but this felt different; better. He hates to say it out loud but it’s true. His feelings for Tom are new, and exciting, and absolutely heavenly. He knows Tom is gay because one time when they were talking about their past relationships, he accidently said “I loved him”. I Tom thought that Harry would be disgusted but Harry Just held him in his arms when Tom started crying about how his family didn’t except him.

 

Tom’s POV (flashback)~~

“Harry how on earth have you only been with one girl in your life?” I asked laughing a little.

“It’s true! I met Elizabeth my sophomore year and we instantly clicked.” I could see his eyes start to change as he smiled and played with his fingers. It was cute…

“She was my best friend. We did everything together and she was always there for me. One day things changed. My voice got deeper, her body changed and for some reason we went for it. It was amazing; we understood each other and knew exactly what the other needed. I proposed our sophomore year of university; our 5 year anniversary. She said yes only 4 months before her…um…you know… But anyway, enough about me, what about you Mr. Stud, who have you swooned?” I just looked at him with sad eyes for a while until I knocked myself out of it.

“Oh um well, I um was in love once. It was the most amazing time of my life. They made so happy and made me feel so warm all over my body. The only thing was that we had to hide because my dad didn’t approve of our relationship. But I Didn’t care because we were in love and he made me feel things I had never felt before.” My body froze and my mouth dropped. I didn’t realize what I had said until it was too late.  
“Harry, I um pplease… please don’t hhate me I’m so sorry. I I I didin’t mmean tto say that. I” I couldn’t control the tears starting to form in my eyes.  
“Tom Tom…Thomas! It’s ok, I don’t hate you. You were in love, that’s all I care about. I don’t care if it was a man, a woman, a dog… well maybe if it was a dog cause that would be some fucked up shit, but do you get my point? Now, tell me all about this lucky guy!” Harry said as he wiped the tears from my eyes. I smiled and nodded my head in silent gratitude.

“Well um his name was… His name was Finn and h-“

“Finn Harries?!?!?!” Harry said with a shocked expression

“Hahaha ya not many people knew he was gay; we liked to keep our lives on the down low, everyone loved Jack the most anyway… well except for e obviously.”

“Wow! How’d you meet?”

“Well he’s only about 4 months younger than me so we first met in year 11 at Harrodian (famous school in Southwest London). We got to know each other during our classes. The funny thing though was that I was actually only friends with Jack” I started smiling to myself thinking about the memory.

“Um this is embarrassing but one day I was hanging out at their house and um I had to use the bathroom. To be clear I had just turned 17 and the twins were about to in a few weeks. I was washing my hands and in comes Finn. I almost screamed bloody murder but he pinned me to the sink and kissed me. Oh goodness it sounds so awful when I say it out loud.” Harry just sat there laughing at me. I buried my hands in my lap because my cheeks were probably bright red by now.

“Ok go on you sex maniac.” Harry said trying to hold in his laughter.

“It was an amazing kiss but of course Jack had to come barging in wondering why I was taking so long and saw us. He just yelled “I knew it! Now give me back my best friend!” He started dragging me back to his room as Finn gave me one more kiss to finish our game of Super Mario Bros.”

“It was kind of weird at first, being best friends with one Harries while I was falling in love with the other, but soon it became routine. I would get a ride home with Jack and we would hang out at their house while Finn was at work after school. We would do the usual play video games, gossip about cute celebrities, Jack teasing me about my weird obsession for Benedict Cumberbatch, and pulling pranks Finn like cutting holes in his underwear but that was mainly for my benefit…” I winked at Harry. His mouth dropped and his face turned bright red. I couldn’t hold in my laughter.

“But anyways, I would do crazy stuff with Jack and when Finn got home at around 6, we would do some more crazy stuff. I’m just kidding! We would just watch movies while cuddled up in bed or help each other with Chemistry homework cause that shit was hard, while Jack worked on his Youtube videos. I remember one day back in year 12 we were studying for finals together and for every question I got right he would give me a kiss... I loved that boy so much, so so much.” Tears started falling from my eyes.

“Then why aren’t you too together anymore?” The dreaded question.

“One day, a few weeks after graduation, my dad um he um walked in on me and Finn um doing things to each other. Finn was on top of me when my f-father pulled his n-naked body off of mine and dragged him to the floor. H-he um he punched him and kicked him over and over again. I pulled on my boxers and ran to them. I tried to rip him off of him but he was too strong. All I could hear was Finn’s terrified screams. I managed to hit my father over the head with my history text book and knocked him out cold.” I couldn’t control my tears as the horrible memories came flooding back into my mind.

“I looked down at my baby my poor old baby. He had blood all over his face and bruises were forming on his chest and stomach. He was barely awake. I put his head in my lap and called Jack to come get us. I ran my fingers through his blood soaked hair, he had always liked that, to try and calm him down. Jack drove us to the hospital and I never left his side for a week until we could take him home. Um uh… one day 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave for Cambridge; yeah I made it in, I didn’t think I would but I did. Finn helped me study every single night either in person or phone call and skype. He was gonna go there too; we were supposed to go together. I woke up September first with a note from my dad left for me. It said “I’m out to take care of some business don’t fuck any faggots!” I crumpled up the paper and threw it away."

"About an hour later, I got a text from Finn saying “I’m sorry and don’t forget that I love you.” I tried calling him but he never picked up. I ran to his house and…a-and when I got their Jack and Finn were gone. Their clothes were packed up and the lizards were gone. I f-found a note stuck to Finn’s door saying“remember that I love you forever and always. I already miss you.” I fell to the ground and cried for hours hoping that this was a joke. I walked home and my dad was waiting in my room with all of my pictures with Finn. He started ripping them right in front of me. I screamed and all he did was laugh at me, but what he didn’t know was that I had a separate photo album with our ‘private’ pictures in them. I still have it, but I don’t look at it though, it just makes me sad. I had to go to Cambridge all by myself. We were gonna share rooms you know. I had a connection and I was gonna surprise him when we got there.” I felt Harry’s hands rub slow circles on my back.

“I still watch Jack's Youtube videos to try and guess where they are but every time I think i know, they have moved again. Whenever Finn is in a video I can't do anything but cry and cry when I hear his voice. It still sounds the same. it's been 4 years and I still can't let go of him. Sometimes i'll hear things in the videos that I think were messages to me but who can be certain. Like this one time the two of them were answering fan questions and one girl asked Finn if he was dating anyone. He said "yes" which completely broke my heart. I almost turned off the video but a few seconds later he looked into the camera and said, "but I haven't seen them in a long time." You could actually see him wipe a tear from his eye before Jack used a jump cut to the next question. I watch that clip all the time. It gives me hope. It makes me think that he hasn't completely forgotten about me. But I could be making this all up in my head; I mean he could be talking about someone completely different. It's... I just..." Tears furiously ran down me cheeks.

"We were together for 3 years and then he was gone. I thought that we were gonna be together forever but I was wrong. I-I-I-I-just miss h-him so much and I I…” I broke down in Harrys arms.

“Shh shhh, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.It’ll be ok…”

Harry remembered that night like it was yesterday. He knew he would never be like Finn. He knew that Tom would never love him like he loved Finn. He knew that he could never love Tom like Finn had but he knew he could make Tom happy. Not forget about what he had with Finn, that wasn’t the plan, just to put aside the memories until he wasn’t so sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes
> 
> I really hope you liked this chapter, it took me forever to write.I'm so sorry for making this so sad but that's what I do, I write tragedies. Finn may or may not come back into the story, you're just gonna have to wait and see what happens. Zayn will be back in the next chapter don't worry I just wanted to create a story line for Tom so he isn't just a tiny little character.
> 
> I would really like your feedback on how i'm doing so don't forget to comment down below and please please please share this story with your friends, I wanna see those views go UP!!!!!!!!
> 
> Bye for now Lovelies!  
> Lauyn :)


	11. Chapter 11

Harry sat in the nurses’ locker room once again. This was his perfect place. None of the other nurses ever used it so he would just go in there to relax and think without little kids asking him for piggy back rides. Today is going to be a good day, he thought. At this moment he didn’t really care if anyone walked in, he was just too happy. He had someone who would do anything for him again, and a kid that felt like the son he always wanted. He washed his body as happiness and contentment flooded his mind. He thought his life was finally turning around. He ran his fingers through his soapy curls as he sung quietly to himself. He rinsed his body of all his worries and got ready for what he “thought” was going to be a great day. He looked at his body in the mirror and realized that he had gained weight, which was great. He had muscle definition and his scars were starting to fade. A smile tugged at his lips. His life was finally turning around. Maybe this community service wasn’t a bad thing after all.

Harry walked into the children’s ward where all the kids came running up to him pulling him inside. All the kids here loved him. He was like they’re very own superman. Harry gave everyone their very own monster hug before he ran over to Zayn and swung him around in circles. Zayn giggled in his ear.

“Harry! Missed you!”

“I know buddy, I missed you too,” Harry said putting Zayn down.

“How has your day been Z?” Harry asked.

“Great!” he said with childish enthusiasm. “I drawed lots of pictures for you and Tom-Tom and nice doctor lady give me candy that make my tummy feel better. Come, come over there I show my pictures!” Zayn said excitedly pulling Harry over to his bed area. He pulled out two drawings from his bed side table. He handed Harry two pictures that he had been working on all day.

“Z! I love them!” Harry said. The first picture was of Tom in his fancy suit.

“Oh my…Zayn this is amazing!” Harry pulled Zayn into a big hug. The second drawing was of Zayn and Harry holding hands and under Harry it said, “Daddy Harry” with a backwards y. Harry couldn’t help the single tear from slipping from his eye. His heart swelled up a little and a giant smile grew on his face.

“Love Harry”

“Love you to baby” It was lunch time now and Zayn was happily eating a chicken sandwich with a side of rice and Harry had some pesto pasta made just for him by Heather, one of the nurses. She was really nice and Harry really liked talking to her when the kids took their daily naps.

Harry watched Zayn eat his food with a smile. He still couldn’t believe that Zayn thought of him as a father. It made his heart flutter and his mind race with all the possibilities. Could Zayn be a part of his family? Like for real?

Zayn and Harry sat on Zayn’s bed trying to solve a puzzle with the picture of Elmo on it. Zayn’s loud giggles filled the entire children’s ward as Harry purposely kept messing up the puzzle, giving Elmo a nose where his ear should be.

“Ahaha stop…” Zayn yelled through the laughter as Harry moved another piece where it shouldn’t be. Zayn continued laughing his head off. Zayn couldn’t stop giggling.

All of a sudden things went from good to bad real quickly. Zayn’s laughter suddenly changed to coughing. Harry tried to give him some water but Zayn pushed it away. His body started shaking and puzzle pieces started falling off the bed. Harry’s eyes went wide; he didn’t know what to do. Zayn lost control of his body as he limbs started violently shaking. Nurses came running to his bedside, pushing Harry out of the way. Tears started rushing down his face as doctors held down his limbs so he wouldn’t kick them. He watched as a doctor shot sedatives up his little arm. His body slowly came to a stop and his heart rate dropped back down to normal but Harry was still scared out of his mind.

“Harry,” Heather spoke,” Your hours are up for the day, I think you should go home.” Harry started shaking his head.

“no,no,noI can’t he needs me,” he said through his tears. She looked into his eyes.

“Harry…” he looked down at his feet and wiped his eyes.

“ok,” he said.  
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone to call Tom. It ringed a few times before he heard Tom’s voice through the tiny speaker.

“Harry?” Tom asked. “Hello Harry? Is everything ok?”

“No it’s not,” he said through his tears.

“Harry stay at the hospital I’m coming right now!”

After about 20 minutes, Tom found Harry sitting on the curb in front of the hospital crying into his knees. Tom quickly ran over to him.  
“Harry, what happened?”

“Zayn… he…he just started shaking and I couldn’t do anything to help him. “ Tom wrapped his arm around Harry’s trembling body and held him until he stopped crying.

“Harry this is not your fault, this stuff happens. Zayn will be ok. Let’s go home and get you some sleep, ok? Ok.”

Tom watched Harry restlessly sleep. He felt so bad that he had to see all of that by himself. He wanted to do something to help him but he didn’t know what he could do besides kiss him on the forehead and let him sleep. He didn’t want Harry feeling this way when everything had been going great not 4 hours ago.

Harry couldn’t stop dreaming about his day; a never ending nightmare of Zayn shaking uncontrollably. He didn’t know this, but he was crying in his sleep. Tom stayed in the room with Harry, rubbing slow circles on his back, until his breathing became steady again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I am so sorry this has taken forever to post. My life has been a mess this year. First one of my closest friends died in a car crash, i got a job 6 days a week, my depression came back,but all that is in the past. I am finally starting to feel better and I hope you guys can forgive me. 
> 
> I really hope you liked this chapter, it took me forever to write.I'm so sorry for making this so sad but that's what I do, I write tragedies.
> 
> I would really like your feedback on how i'm doing so don't forget to comment down below and please please please share this story with your friends, I wanna see those views go UP!!!!!!!!
> 
> Bye for now Lovelies!  
> Lauyn :)


	12. Day 14, Hour 66

Harry woke the next morning with blood shot eyes and a pounding headache. His night was not a good one. It had taken him forever and day to fall asleep and when he finally did it was restless and he couldn’t stop having nightmares. He couldn’t stop thinking about the day before. He couldn’t stop picturing Zayn’s small body convulsing and seizing. All he wanted to do was help but he was frozen; frozen and scared. Harry still doesn’t know what happened or what is happening because the doctors refused to tell him anything because he is “just a criminal” and not an important authority figure in Zayn’s life. Those words punched Harry in the face when he had tried to call the hospital later last night. He definitely was not just a criminal; Zayn certainly didn’t think so. Harry was furious and scared and worried all at once. He didn’t know what to do with himself. His mind raced to all of the worst possibilities; like all brains do. He could only think the worse and that was wearing on him. He needed to see Zayn and he needed to make sure that he was safe and not as scared as he was right now. He felt as if the blankets wrapped around him were suffocating him.

Since it was only 4:00 in the morning and the hospital doesn’t let him in until 8:00, he decided to go back to sleep and hopefully ease his mind for a few more hours. He tossed and turned and just couldn’t get comfortable. He thought about what he should do for a second and then whispered “fuck it,” to himself. He climbed out from under the covers and headed out his door. He walked across this living room and to Tom’s room. He cracked open his door very quietly to see him sleeping soundly. He quietly walked inside and walked over to the bed. He made sure that Tom was really asleep one last time before he got in next to him and pulled the blankets over his body. He could feel Tom shuffle next to him and a strong arm wrapped around his torso. The extra warmth was comforting and Tom’s steady breathing was oddly soothing. Harry easily fell asleep in his arms and didn’t have a single nightmare.

Harry woke up at 8:45 in Tom’s empty bed. He didn’t want to do anything but lie in bed and breathe in the leftover smell of Tom’s cologne. He rubbed the sleep off of his face and sat upright. He looked around at Tom’s room. He’s never actually seen it before which he thought was kind of weird. He got up and started to explore. He walked over to Tom’s desk and looked at all of his photos. There were a few drawings hanging around his computer that Zayn drew for him and pictures of his family; all of the normal stuff. Harry picked up and frame with a picture of Tom in his cap and gown from when he graduated from Cambridge. He smiled to himself and put it back on the desk. He walked over to a shelf next to the bed and saw several interesting things. Tom’s diploma was beautifully framed and hung on the wall. It made him wish that he was able to FINISH COLLEGE but Harry knew he would never get that chance again even if he wanted it. A Harvard would never take him back, not now.

Something caught his eye. There was smoothing reflecting sunlight under Tom’s pillow. The corner of what looked like a PICTURE FRAME was slightly sticking out from under it. Harry pulled it out and sighed. The frame said “Tom and Finn 4 ever” with a picture of them kissing on swing set.

“Oh Tom,” Harry whispered to himself.

“Oh Tom what?” Harry was startled by the sudden voice. He turned around to see Tom smiling by the door. His smiled fell when he saw what was in Harry’s hand.

“Oh,” was all that Tom could say.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go through your stuff. I um”

“It’s uh o-ok” Tom’s voice cracked.

“I should really get rid of that old thing anyway.” There were visible tears starting to form in his eyes. Tom snatched the picture out of Harry’s hand and walked from the room trying to hold in tears. Harry instantly felt terrible. Once again Harry didn’t know what to do. He stood there frozen. Maybe it was his only reflex when faced with uncomfortable situations and/or fear. He took a deep breath and forced himself to move from his spot. He walked out of Tom’s room and saw his sitting on the floor next to the TRASH CAN. The picture was shattered on the floor. Tom was sobbing trying to put the pieces back together. Harry ran to his side.

“Tom, Tom you have to stop. It’s broken.”

“NO!” He screamed.

“If I don’t fix it, it means he’s gone. He can’t be gone Harry! He can’t!!” Tome yelled through his tears. He broke down and dropped the glass pieces. He fell into Harry’s lap and CONTINUED to cry. Harry was in a tough position. He liked Tom and wanted to help him but he was crying on his lap over the love of his life that was taken away from him. Harry couldn’t do anything but rub soothing circles on his back.  
After a long hour and a half Tom pulled himself together.

“Hey Tom, I think you should help me with the kids today. I think it’ll make you feel better.” Tom nodded and tossed Harry his CAR keys.

“Don’t tell anyone I’m letting you drive before you get your license back.”

Tom and Harry walked into the children’s ward with smiles. All the children flocked to Tom because they don’t get to see him very often. Tom instantly felt better with the children wanting him to play with them. He took his mind off of the morning as he went to go read Thomas the Tank Engine to a few kids in the corner.

Meanwhile Harry was trying to convince Zayn’s doctor to tell him anything about Zayn. He still didn’t know if he was ok or not and that scared the crap out of him.

“Ok, fine. Since you are not a legal guardian, all I can tell you is that he is still alive. We did have to put him in a medically induced coma and we’re not quite sure when it will be safe to take him out of it.” The doctor stated firmly.

“Oh, um…. Ok. Thank you” he said and quietly walked over to Tom. He listened in as he finished the book. The kids applauded him and asked stupid questions like “why is Thomas and train? And how do trains make babies?” Tom answered their questions to the best of his ability and then went to the cafeteria with Harry for lunch.

“So, um Harry I’m really sorry about this morning. I know it wasn’t easy for you to deal with and I’m really really sorry that you had to see me like that. I just get really bad when it comes to Finn. It’s just hard you know loosing someone you love…”

“I do know.”

“I’m sorry I forgot about your fiancé. But let’s talk about something else; did you find anything out about Zayn?”

“O yeah um he is in a coma and they don’t know when he’ll come out of it.” Harry looked down at his cheap hospital lunch. Tom put a comforting hand on Harry’s knee.

“It will be ok. Zayn is a strong boy and he has us to wake up for, ok? Ok.”

“You’re right, he’s fine and will wake up soon. Let’s go back to work.” They stood up and walked back to the children’s ward in a comfortable silence…  
I really hope you liked this chapter, it took me forever to write.I'm so sorry for making this so sad but that's what I do, I write tragedies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really like your feedback on how i'm doing so don't forget to comment down below and please please please share this story with your friends, I wanna see those views go UP!!!!!!!!
> 
> Bye for now Lovelies!  
> Lauyn :)
> 
> FOLLOW ME


	13. Day 17, Hour 81

While Harry was struggling at the hospital without Zayn’s smiling face to keep him company, Tom was having his own battles. Tom’s father died on Tuesday…today is Friday. His funeral is on Sunday and he doesn’t know if he should go. Tom’s father was a horrible person. He beat Tom and his mother, he was an alcoholic and a cynic, and chased away his only love. On one side, he didn’t think that his father even deserved having him there, but yet he wanted closure.

Tom sat on the couch with the scrapbook that he and Finn had made for whenever one of them got “lonely.” It was filled with their intimate pictures and sexy hand written notes. It was the only thing of theirs that his father didn’t destroy. He solemnly flipped through the pages as tears welled in his eyes. His shaky fingers ghosted over the pages and tears plopped on the pictures. The weird thing though was that He wasn’t feeling aroused, he was just sad. He was sad that he hasn’t seen Finn or jack in years. He’s sad that he hasn’t been able to love anyone since. He’s sad that his own father, his flesh and blood, ruined his life.

He made a decision; he has to go to the funeral. He has to show that bastard that he can’t dictate his life anymore. His tears gone and his beer empty, Tom closed the scrapbook and went to his office. He decided to work from home today because this week has just been too much. He’s been spacing out, he’s been pushing Harry away, he hasn’t been eating, and he has these angry bursts that come out of nowhere. It’s crazy that his dad is gone and yet can still alter his personality. As Tom worked on another case file for a man who was injured at his job, he heard the front door unlock. He was so far into his zone he didn’t even look up to see who it was entering his home. A light hand was felt on his shoulder as a husky voice whispered, “Hey, I’m back from the hospital.” He knew it was Harry. He knew it was Harry even before he spoke because every day Harry comes home, his hair smells like a mixture crayons and play-dough. Tom replied with a quiet yet welcoming “hey,” as Harry walked out of his office.

Once again engrossed in his work, Tom didn’t hear Harry come back into his office. He heard some rustling of paper which spiked his interest. He turned around to see Harry holding a gift bag.

“What is this? I don’t remember my birthday being moved up 4 months.” Tom chuckled.

“Just open it you idiot,” Harry exclaimed. Tom grabbed the sack from Harry’s grip and slowly pulled out the tissue paper making confused glances at Harry every once in a while. Tom’s hands held a small, wooden frame.

“Oh Harry… I don’t know what to say… I…thank you…” Tom was at a loss for words. 

http://i57.tinypic.com/vrwzl0.png

*my Photoshop skills are very mediocre. lol*

“It took a while but I found this picture of you and Finn before you went to prom and I thought you would like it…” Harry said nervously. A tear rolled down Tom’s cheek. Harry was looking down at his hands when he felt two strong arms wrap around his body.

“Thank you so much,” Tom said through happy tears and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Out of nowhere Tom started laughing.

“What?” asked Harry.

“Thank God for puberty. I have no idea why he liked me!” Harry joined in on the laughter.

http://i58.tinypic.com/30bphsz.jpg

*Tom now*

“You looked fine.”

“Oh ok so would you like this Tom to replace me,” Tom jokingly asked pointing to his picture.

“No, I mean I can see why he fell for you, you were a cutie,” Harry said ‘booping’ Tom’s nose.

“Whatever you say man bun, now go make me some dinner!” Tom said kicking harry in the butt as he walking back out of his office. His laughter subsided as he looked back down at the photo. He remembered that night like the back of his hand. It was his senior prom. One of his best friends, Daphne, agreed to pretend to be his date so his dad wouldn’t be suspicious. They took pictures together and sent them to his dad then they both went to their separate dates. It was the best weekend of his life. Unlike his dad, his school was completely open to any and every type of person. They slow danced under twinkling lights with prom king crowns on their heads. It was like they were the only people at the dance. They weren’t the type of people who needed to be at a rager and get drunk to have a good time so they had the night to themselves after prom. They walked around a park for a while under the stars sharing greasy slices of pizza and ice cream cones. They just walked and talked; that’s all they needed. The breeze was comforting and there was just enough light for them to only see each other. They walked back to Finn’s house holding hands underneath the moonlight. They changed into joggers and tank tops to get comfortable. They just laid in bed laughing and eating junk food. They kissed all night yes, but they didn’t have sex. They need to to prove that they loved each other. That was the night Tom realized that he would probably marry this man, well that’s what he thought.

Tom’s hand traced Finn’s face in the picture and a small smile poked at his dimples. He gave a chaste kiss to the photo and placed it on his desk to continue working.

Harry still liked Tom, but who knew that they would have a terrible relationship if he were to try to put a move on while Tom was still getting over Finn. He knew he had to wait and he knew that he could.

After dinner Tom just wanted some time for himself. He put on some gym shorts on and hopped into bed. He pulled up Jacksgap on YouTube and clicked on their newest video. It was titled “Top Secret Mission.” Tom pressed play.

“What’s up guys, I’m Jack...” said Jack with a smile.

“…And I’m Finn,” said Finn rolling into frame.

“Like the title says, we have a top secret mission for all of you. Would you like to know what it is? I don’t think they do Finn,” said Jack turning to his brother.

“I think we should tell them anyway. So this is very very important so pay attention.”

“Recently something happened that has opened up an opportunity for us.”

“Yes there has Jack. We need you guys to help us find someone.” Tom’s heart skipped a beat. They couldn’t possibly be talking about him, could they? Tom un-paused the video and continued watching.

“We haven’t seen this person in about 4 years and we now have the chance to find them.” Finn continued. “This person was the love of my life…”

“And my best friend,” yelled Jack.

“Yes Jack, they were,” Finn said with a chuckle. “Anyway we haven’t been able to find them due to certain circumstances but now it’s possible. His name is Thomas Patrick, yes yes I’m gay not a big deal, let’s continue.”

Jack started talking again. “Due to someone who shall not be named, all of Tom’s personal information has been taken off of the internet and we can’t find him. That’s where you come in. We need you guys to find him for us.”

“We need your help. Use twitter, facebook, Instagram, anything you can to find him. Here’s a picture of him,” Finn says pointing to the corner of the screen. “It’s from high school so he most likely looks different now but that’s ok. We need you to find him for us please. If you have any information on him, any at all, contact this email,” jack gestured toward an email on the screen. ‘letsfindtomtom@gmail.com’ Tom’s eyes were glued to the screen.

“We can’t do this thing without you. LET’S GOO!!!!!” they screamed in unison and the video was over. Tom couldn’t breathe. Apparently his dad was for the reason he could never find the Harries boys and why they couldn’t find him. His death was a blessing in disguise. He opened his email and started to put in the email address but then he froze. He closed it. He couldn’t email them, they probably wouldn’t believe him if he just came out and said “hi I’m the one you’re in love with you found me!”

Tom figured that he would just go out more and hope someone who watched that video would recognize him and contact Jack and Finn. Unfortunately Tom’s dad threatened his life if he tried to contact the boys over social media so he doesn’t have any. He immediately opened up twitter and started an account. He didn’t post anything but he put up a profile picture. He knew people would be looking for him so he just had to wait. He did that with facebook, and Instagram too. His plan was to post something new on each social media twice a week so people could start making the connection. He closed his laptop, turned off the lamp by his bedside. He got comfy under his covers and started to go to sleep. He dreamed of reuniting with Jack and Finn and fell asleep with a small smile on his face.


	14. Day 18, Hours 86

Tom awoke by the obnoxious buzzing of his phone on his bed side table. He squinted at the blindingly bright glow. He wiped the sleep out of his eyes and clicked on the lamp on his dresser. The time on his phone read 5:43am… He really was not in the mood for this. He was just woken up from a dream that Chris Hemsworth had divorced his wife to be with him instead. He looked at his notifications and immediately the sleep washed away. 103 new Instagram followers, 124 new twitter followers; a bunch of Facebook friend requests and the list goes on. Most of the people followed him because they thought he was hot and he popped up in their “people you should follow” window. But there were a 2 or 3 who found him because of Jack and Finn. He had a few comments on the first photo he put up on his Instagram. It was a picture of him standing, arms spread out wide, and a goofy grin on his face, underneath the Eifel Tower. It was from last summer. A rich client of his gave him a week long, all-expense paid vacation after doing such a good job on a case Tom had won for his company. He thought it was a good first picture to get people curious. He was far away so you couldn’t see him perfectly and he was bundled up because it was pretty cold that day. The comments were varied.

@Finnsbabymomma : FAKE!!

@jAcKiSmYoNeLoVe : Is this the real Thomas Patrick?

@JINNISMYLIFE : I hope ur real cause ur HOTT!

It just went on like that. Most people were pretty skeptical but Tom expected nothing less. He prayed that this worked the way he had planned. So far nothing bad had happened until he googled his name. His heart broke as he saw hundreds of people pretending to be him just so they could get to Jack and Finn. “Why did I think this could work?” He thought to himself. Tears welled in his eyes. He knew people would never believe he was the real Thomas Patrick now. People were using random pictures and stole the picture he had posted on Instagram on their own accounts like @I_am_tom_patrick, @TheRealThomasPatrick, and @OfficialThomasPatrick. As his followers grew, the amount of people pretending to be him grew even faster. He really screwed this up. He didn’t know what to do now. #IAMTHOMAS was trending number one, worldwide, on twitter. He felt devastated and discouraged and out of options. All he could do now was hope that the boys would be able to tell who was the real me; me. 

All of sudden Tom saw a new notification on his phone; Jack’s Gap had posted a new video. Tom immediately opened the video. On the screen was just Finn sitting with his head held low. The video quality wasn’t great so you could tell he probably recorded this just a few minutes ago on his phone or something. The video was 18 minutes long but for the first 3 1/2 minutes it was just him in the same position, trying to stop crying. After some time had passed, he wiped his eyes and looked up at the camera. His eyes were bloodshot and his faced was tear stained. You could tell by the dark circles under his eyes and the way his hair lay in every which way, that he hadn’t slept all night. His voice cracked as he started to speak. Tom wasn’t ready for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

“I don’t think you guys know how much this thing means to me. I don’t think you know how serious this is. I loved this boy more than anything I have ever loved in my entire life and you guys are treating it like a joke. I’m sorry but I thought you guys were better than this. You keep sending me emails saying that you are Thomas just to get my attention. I was optimistic that one of you was Thomas at first but after the 100th person told me “I’m Thomas” it kind of felt like you guys were making fun of me.”

“I doubt many of you know what it’s like to really be in love, to be so obsessed with another person it physically hurts you inside. It is magical yet terrifying experience, and I pray to God every day that I can have that feeling back. I just want to be able to wake up in the morning and not feel empty anymore because the one thing that was able to fill my heart completely, is gone. I want to wake up knowing that I don’t have to be sad or anxious because I know as soon as I would see their face, all my worries would disappear.”

Tom was in tears. Not just tears, but ugly sobs; but he continued watching though it made his body ache. It made him want to throw up because all he wanted was to reach through the screen and kiss Finn’s tears away and hold him until he knew that he would never leave again. He un-paused the video to continue watching after he had recollected himself.

“I was expecting the hate, I really was, because not every person likes the idea that my one true love is another man, but what I did not expect was the utter lack of respect for my feelings that some of you have. I get that you want to meet us, but playing with my emotions by saying that you’re the one thing I miss the most in this life, is absolutely revolting. I-I –I just...can’t deal with these feelings anymore…” Finn broke down on camera for everyone to see. About 2 minutes passed before he stopped sobbing. He didn’t edit this video at all; he wanted everyone to know how he was feeling and why this whole thing is so important to him.

“The first time I saw Tom, I knew that he was going to mean something to me. I never told him this but I could never work up the nerve to talk to him all freshman year so I wrote down what I wanted to say in this journal. II never told him about it because I was always too embarrassed. But I am going to read that journal.”  
“This is a list of things I wanted to tell him on the first day I saw him during the first day of freshman year. “Hi, my name is Finn, I really like your glasses. I like the name Thomas. You have really pretty eyes. Would you ever want to hang out?” and the list goes on. These are some towards the middle of the year. “Thomas Patrick, Tom Patrick, Tommy Pat, Tom Tom, Thomas Harries,” but that one I had tried to erase but I can still see it. Here are some more. “Thomas started hanging out with Jack but I’m still too nervous to ask him out. I really really like him but I’m scared he’ll reject me or fall for my brother or something. Everyone likes him better even though he isn’t gay. I think I could really love this guy If I ever built up the courage to talk to him.”

Finn flipped through the pages reading silly notes and some sad ones but nothing compared to what he had just found.

“Oh God…this page is from the day I left you. (Finn was now talking directly to Tom) Just touching the words brings back so many bad memories. But I need to share everything.” Finn opened the journal back up, took a deep breath, and began reading the horrible memories aloud.

“I’m sorry Tom. I am so sorry. I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you know why I had to go. He threatened me with the one thing that I would never let him touch ever again, and that’s you. He threatened to kill you Tommy if I didn’t leave. I’m sorry. I almost killed myself the second he left but I know we will meet again someday. I am praying every day that we can be together again. I haven’t stopped crying and I don’t think I ever will. You are the love of my life and forever will be. I love you with everything I am and everything I want to be. The thought of you is the only thing that keeps me going. I miss your touch and the smell of your shampoo on my sheets. I miss your smile and the freckles on your elbow. I miss the way you say Massachusetts and the way you say my name and I’m terrified that I’ll forget those. I’m scared that I’ll forget what you smell like or the sound of your voice and the taste of your lips on mine. I don’t want to forget a single part of you. I love you Tommy. I love you with all of my being. I will love you forever and always to the moon and back.” 

Finn finished reading the pages with tears aggressively spilling from his eyes. He clutched the journal so tight to his chest; you would have thought he could push right into his heart. He cried and cried for about a minute until Jack came in the room. Jack came up to him and just hugged him for another minute and a half. A single tear fell from his eye for his brother. 

“Hey Finney… Do you still want to post this?” Finn just nodded his head.

“Do you want me to edit it at all?” Finn shook his head no.

“Ok.” Then the video went black, it was over. 

Through all of Thomas’s tears he whispered a small sentence out into the universe.  
“I’m here Finn. I’m here.” Tom quietly cried himself back to sleep.

-3 Hours Later-

“Hey Tom! I’m about to leave for the hospital. I thought I’d walk today.” Harry called through the door to Tom’s room. There was no reply.

“Tom? Are you awake? Tom?” With still no reply, Harry cracked open the door. He stepped into the room and his eyes grew wide. A silent gasp fell from his mouth. Tom was in the middle of his bed, wrapped up in blankets and crying his eyes out. His hair was all over the place and the room smelled of vomit. 

“T-Tom? Hey buddy, what’s wrong?” He got nothing.

“Tom please you can talk to me.” Still he got nothing out of the broken man sitting in front of him. He walked over to the bed and sat behind Tom. He wrapped his arms around Tom’s torso and placed his head on Tom’s back. Harry remembered Tom telling him that his mom used to do it to him as a kid to calm him down. Tom just started crying even harder. He started chocking and coughing between sobs. Harry couldn’t help but start crying too. 

After a few minutes Harry wiped his face and stood up.

“Tom I’m sorry but I have to go to the hospital now. Just get some rest. Everything will be ok, we can talk when I get back. Please, whatever you do, don’t hurt yourself.” Harry walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Tom just sat there…for hours as his phone beeped and buzzed. Finn’s words just kept replaying in his head over and over again. He didn’t know what to think of everything. All he wanted to do more than anything in this world was to run forever and at the end of the road, see Finn waiting for him there. He just wanted the searching to be over.

Tom never left his spot; only once to use the bathroom, then he got right back into his bed. His head was pounding, his eyes ran out of tears hours ago and his body ached. He just sat there staring at the door, praying the Finn would walk through it.   
This was going to be a long process but he wasn’t willing to give up, not just yet, and neither was Finn. They would find each other again, no matter what it takes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I want to say i'm sorry. I am so sorry for not updating like I should be. I have had a rough summer. My depression started coming back and I forgot about the one thing that calms me down, and that's writing, writing for you guys. I promise to start updating more often and with longer chapters like this one. I usually stop at 1000 words per chapter but this one is 2,049. 
> 
> I am grateful for your support, and I won't let you down anymore.  
> Please comment and subscribe and vote and tell your friends about this story. :
> 
> ~~Lauryn~~

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So I came up with the idea for this story while I was on a plane and wrote it on my cell phone. I was planning on making this a short story, but if it gets good feedback I might make it longer, I don't know yet.
> 
> So what do you think? Please leave comments below with feedback and just random things. I really hope everyone likes this idea and wants me to continue.
> 
> Bye for now  
> ~~Lauryn~~


End file.
